Author Mailu rebukes use of donkey penis in KICC make

  • By David Mailu

I ran across this article and thought I should share it and respond to it. I have responded after its end.

I will go straight to the point, Your Excellency. Please order the immediate demolition of KICC to protect the country’s moral fabric and for the sake of the Big Four agenda. Call up the Chinese, Sir. Sign a new loan with them. Yes, we have too many loans already, but just call the Chinese. We must immediately put up a new building on the KICC site, inspired, I suggest, by the cross of Jesus Christ. We are a Christian nation. We can’t have KICC. No, we just can’t. We risk God’s wrath. It is like poking our fingers into the eyes of the Almighty. If you won’t act, Sir, a mighty thunder will strike down that cursed building into a heap of rubble.

I write to you, Mr President, for two reasons. First, the enormity and urgency of the matter at hand compels me to speak bluntly. And second, my constitutional mandate as the Supreme Moral Authority in the land demands that I act decisively when public morality is at stake. The Constitution is very clear. It has come to my attention, Mr President, that KICC’s design was inspired by the shape of a donkey’s erect penis.

Oh yes, you read that right, Your Excellency. Why a donkey’s penis, of all animals, I don’t know. No one knows. Kenya’s first African chief architect David Mutiso told Citizen TV last week that he was inspired by a donkey’s erect penis in designing KICC in 1968. The building was opened in 1973. Your Excellency, how can a donkey’s erect penis inspire anyone? Pure madness! Why a donkey’s mating organ might inspire an architect should be the subject of a multi-agency investigation. I most humbly recommend an investigation, Sir.

Kenyans won’t mind an oxygen tax to get money for a probe to unravel this mystery. The very soul of this nation is at stake, Mr President. Let it never be said that it was during your tenure that Kenya died. That would be a horrible legacy. Why is this information being released to the public a whole 45 years after KICC was opened? Mr President, KICC is Nairobi’s most iconic building. It is our country’s most recognizable skyscraper around the world. It is synonymous with the Green City in the Sun. But it is also emblematic of Kenya. Now, that image has been shattered – forever, Mr President. It is no use having the building. Bring it down. Your Excellency,

Nairobi is up there with Paris, London, New York and Singapore as a tourist, conferencing and investment destination. What are people around the world thinking about us, when it turns out we design some of our best buildings inspired by sexual organs? People are not going to look at KICC the same way they have in the past, Mr President. Every time anyone passes by the building or looks at it or sees its picture, their minds will straightway go to the donkey’s organ.
The implications of this for national development, especially the Big Four agenda, are too dreadful to contemplate, Sir. We are talking here about hundreds of millions of people in Kenya and around the world thinking about a donkey’s erect penis whenever they see KICC. They won’t anymore think of Nairobi as an investment destination. They will no longer know Nairobi as the only capital city in the world with a national park. They won’t be thinking about holding conferences at KICC. They will be thinking about the fat, black thing of a donkey penetrating the city sky.

If KICC will be allowed to stand, what is the next important building in town going to look like? Mr President, you often address important national and international events hosted at KICC. Can you imagine what would be on the minds of the delegates seated before you next time you are in that building?

Your Excellency, I am sure you have watched donkeys mating. It is a very violent scene. The donkey’s penis is a most ugly organ. It is an instrument of violence. We don’t want to be associated with it. We are a peace-loving people.

My office has ordered investigations into the circumstances surrounding the interview by Citizen TV. Kenyans would like to know, among many other disturbing questions, why Citizen TV decided to do the interview at this time and why Mutiso chose to reveal such ugly details to the whole wide world.

Your Excellence, the tourism industry is recovering after the prolonged election period last year and the attendant political turbulence. I suspect someone is out to frustrate the recovery and ruin your glorious legacy.The media needs to be patriotic. Some things you don’t broadcast, for national interest. We have a country to build. Dreams to fulfill.
Just demolish KICC, I beseech you on my knees, Your Excellency.

One can dismiss this open letter to the President as some kind of silly fun, which might make the president laugh if he has time to reads it at all. The author might have written it just to seek President’s attention. Or it could be a serious thought from one of the too many Christian fanatics populating this country, some of whom can kill their mother for Christian mission.

We had a similar outcry some time ago from of a high ranking fanatic so-called man of God who bears a missionary doctorate. He demanded that the symbols of snakes in the Parliament building must be removed and the Parliament cleansed.

But if the writer of the above article meant it, what comes out distinctly about him is that he is paranoid Christian. If we take him by the Bible that he professes to know, the Bible says that God created everything with love. In the eye of God, donkey’s penis is beautiful and divine. I don’t even think God thinks the writer’s penis is better and more inspiring than that of the donkey. Would the writer have been better off if the architect had been inspired by man’s penis or woman’s vagina to design the KICC?

The donkey, thank God, has been one of the most useful animals in the life of man. Literally, it has contributed outrageously to man’s survival. That is why it is commonly heard people saying, “Don’t work me up like a donkey.” In fact, when it comes to how human beings use the donkey, humans fall short of God’s glory and are worse than animals. Too many people have had no respect for the animal that can die for them. What I sometimes see in the countryside is devilish, where there solitary donkey donkeys overworked mercilessly. The owners may never imagine that the donkey may want to have a donkey companion. They misuse the donkey until it dies. Millions of donkeys have been beaten to death by man demanding labor.

In fact, what the donkey has done to the human being should have qualified it to be declared a sacred animal. The donkey should be worshipped for what it does to man. It is used for many purposes, in the lead, as transporter of loads and people. The Bible quotes Jesus riding the donkey at his peak time. In fact for giving Jesus a ride the donkey may deserve everlasting life in paradise. I have known Bwana Mutiso for many years and he told me about that inspiration decades ago. Mutiso should be given credit for giving the sacred donkey such a recognition. The nation should take pride in honoring the donkey so much. In fact until Mutiso talked about the shape of the donkey’s penis not many people knew about it. The writer should go hell thinking his penis is diviner that that of the donkey.

The so-called man of God suffering from the imaginary devil in the snake appears not even have stopped and consider the biblical dialogue in the legend between God and Moses. When Moses didn’t want to take up the responsibility of leading the children of Israel from Egypt to Canaan. Moses and he told God that he did not have the [power to do so, God asked Moses, “What do you have in your hand?” Moses said, “I’ve got a working stick.” Then God told him, “Drop the stick.” When Moses did so, the stick changed into a stick. In God’s language, the snake symbolized power, but not evil.


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